Sometimes you just feel like a big dump truck has come along and dumped a truck full of sadness into your life. I’m all about finding the bright side or I used to be but sometimes there is no bright side. My mom is slowly being lost to cancer. I suppose it could be worse, it could be faster or she could have brain effects and that hasn’t happened yet, but there is no bright side.
We all know that we’re probably going to lose our parents one day but knowing the fast forward button has been pressed on that is certainly no comfort. In addition knowing you have the same genetic fate doesn’t help. Nor does the loss of your mind once to psychosis and once again to cognition. They say when it rains it pours…I feel like the monsoon has begun.
I suppose one of the positives is we have time to show my mom how much she is loved before we say goodbye. For me, knowing about the gene lurking inside me may prevent the same fate with more regular screenings. Finally finding out about my cognitive defects may allow for some sort of treatment.